{"id":376,"date":"2024-04-06T20:59:41","date_gmt":"2024-04-07T03:59:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/harpistanneroos.com\/blog\/?p=376"},"modified":"2026-01-04T01:53:54","modified_gmt":"2026-01-04T09:53:54","slug":"how-to-use-music-to-rescue-conversation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harpistanneroos.com\/blog\/how-to-use-music-to-rescue-conversation\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Use Music to Rescue Conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"

We live in contentious times. <\/strong>Friendships can be blown to smithereens by holding a contrary political stance or religious belief, carrying strong social opinions, or simply disagreeing about whether the earth is round or flat. Is there a way to hold a healthy conversation while accepting differences, understanding that we are good human beings behind the words? How can we bridge the gap when conversation is polarizing or at a stalemate?<\/p>\n

Music is the answer. <\/strong>It helps us see our common hearts, that universal energy that courses through all of us.<\/p>\n

\"Album
Album cover of my CD collection “Blue Jeans & Velvet”–I played many of these selections for the big game hunter clients<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Case in point:<\/strong> I often perform for clients whose beliefs stand in stark contrast to mine. Perhaps the most blatant example includes an organization that supports big game trophy hunting in exotic regions around the world. They hired me to perform for their cocktail parties at their annual awards events.<\/p>\n

These clients graciously invited me to dine during my performance breaks, and I advised them that I am a vegetarian. They laughed, wondering what on earth a vegetarian was doing performing for big game hunters. I simply explained that it was my meal preference, not an opinion about their company.<\/p>\n

There was never any discussion of the rights or wrongs of big game hunting and vegetarianism. I loved playing cool Broadway standards for this fun group of people, and they loved the music that I played (Many old jazz standards from my Blue Jeans & Velvet album collection<\/strong><\/a><\/span>).<\/p>\n

\"Harpist
My beautiful, ill-fated gown with the unfortunate slit up the back…<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Plus, they were certainly kind and accepting during my costume malfunction\u2014My beaded gown split all the way up to my waist in the back, so I tied a sweater around my waist to avoid mooning my audience! I think they were too busy enjoying the music to care.<\/p>\n

Music is the common denominator that gives us that \u201ckumbaya\u201d feeling.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I play the harp, I am acutely aware that I am just a conduit for this energy called music. <\/strong>I\u2019m not the doer of it, and I certainly don\u2019t own this magical energy. Like the sun, music is available to all to experience and bask in, and to reap its healing rewards.<\/p>\n

Everyone<\/em><\/strong> can love harp music. Why should I restrict that pleasure to those that I happen to agree with?<\/strong> Without knowing anything about new acquaintances, a conversation about music can cement a friendship and be a lifesaver when common ground seems impossible to find. And the music itself can act as the panacea, the universal remedy, when others don\u2019t conform to our core beliefs.<\/p>\n

Music is also the remedy when we can\u2019t even get a conversation started. My friend, Joseph, relayed this sweet story to me:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Liz is 12. She\u2019s in the 7th<\/sup> grade. She\u2019s one of my two daughters adopted from China. Her mother and I are separated and going through a divorce. It\u2019s quasi friendly.<\/p>\n

Liz\u2019s oldest sister just left for college, so now she is the only child at home. So I phone Liz every night between 7:00 and 8:30 pm. Every time I got her on the phone, the conversation went like this:<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liz: \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liz: \u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n

Liz: \u201cI\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a sequence of so many \u201cgoods\u201d and so many \u201cokays\u201d and so many \u201cfines\u201d, and it was not okay, or good, or fine for me. I was frustrated.<\/p>\n

So it just came to me to ask, \u201cHey, what are you listening to? Send me a playlist, okay? Give me ten songs that you are listening to that express what you\u2019re feeling.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

I figured it would probably take a couple of days before she\u2019d get me a playlist, but I got her playlist within the hour! I listened to a few of the songs that night before I went to bed. Then I bookmarked the tracks and cued them up to listen to on my commute in to work the next morning.<\/p>\n

I was floored by Liz\u2019s first four song choices\u2014They had lyrics that showed that she is really developing into a beautiful young woman. And when I got to the fifth song, it was just buckets of tears for me: The song \u201cSomebody\u2019s Daughter\u201d by Tenille Townes. It\u2019s sung from the point of view of a woman who is driving home from work every day, and her last turn is a left turn onto a street where there\u2019s a woman panhandling on the corner. And she\u2019s wondering to herself, \u201cHow did she get there? What\u2019s her name? Who does she know? She must be somebody\u2019s daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n